Kristina Moon—Coping with Loss in the Line of Duty | S4 E50

SPEAKER_04 0:00

December 12th, 2022, he fell about 20 feet while preparing for a training exercise inside the quarters of rescue too. When you're part of the first responder world, you kind of took away in your head and your heart that there are things that may happen. You almost feel like it's more important to just live in the moment and enjoy what life has to offer. Because in reality, nobody really wants to talk about what happens when they die. Because I've had people reach out to me and I shared our story, and I'll tell you that organ donation was the light in the darkest hours of my life. And I blurted out to the hospital staff while I was there. I was like, he's an organ donor. Something in my heart told me they needed to know, and they're like, ugh, you're crazy. We don't need this right now. I knew it was something he was passionate about and he felt strongly about.

Voiceover 0:45

Welcome to Responder Resilience, along with Bonnie Romoli, LCSW, EMT. I'm David Dashinger. In this episode, our guest is Christina Moon. She's the president of the Billy Moon Foundation, which supports, advocates, and brings awareness to organ donations. Christina's husband, firefighter William P. Billy Moon II, lost his life after a fall while preparing for a training exercise in the quarters of Rescue 2 in Brooklyn. We invite you to like and subscribe, YouTube responder resilience, Facebook Responder Wellness Inc. and Responder TV, LinkedIn, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and go to our website, responderTV.com for past episodes to get information. This episode is made possible by Strobes and More, a New England-based leading distributor, installer, and servicer of emergency vehicle equipment. Visit strobesandmore.com to sign up for special offers and receive 10% off your next order. This episode is made possible by the First Responder Center for Exports. Discover more at FirstresponderCenter.org and connect with us on X, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and YouTube. We'll be right back to speak with Christina after this. In this family, all of us die by our own hands and by the hazards of the job.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

In this family, up to a quarter of 911 communication at the system of post-romatic stress. In this family, our mental health and wellness are in crisis.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

In this family, many struggles.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Resilience strategies.

Voiceover 2:30

Welcome to Responder Resilience. We'd like to welcome Christina Moon. Christina is the president of the Billy Moon Foundation, which supports advocates and brings awareness to work and donation. Prior to that, she spent 20 years in the field of elementary education. And now she overcomes the grief of losing her husband in December of 2022. She finds herself educating others on the importance of having the hard conversations with loved ones as she shares her family story around the country and through the foundation. As we said earlier, Christina's husband, William P. Billy Moon II, lost his life after a fall preparing for a training exercise in the quarters of FDNY Rescue 2 in Brooklyn. And Christina prides herself on spreading this important message, celebrating the life of her husband and keeping his memory alive, especially for their two children. Christina, welcome to Responder Resilience.

SPEAKER_04 3:34

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_03 3:37

Thank you for being willing to share your story with us today. We're really grateful to you and thankful that you trust us to share your story. Thank you. So on this show, we like to honor all first responders and in the spirit of honoring those who've dedicated their lives to this kind of service and some who have succumbed to it. Could you please tell our listeners about your husband, Billy Moon, and who he was?

SPEAKER_04 4:09

So I always start with like he was a big personality because he was 6'4 and he couldn't miss him when he walked into a room. Um Billy spent 21 years on the FDNY. He spent 20 years in Ladder 133 in South Jamaica, Queens, which was a pretty busy house. But he also was a and then he went over to uh rescue two in Brooklyn. He was there for almost a year. But he also spent 28 years as a volunteer firefighter in our hometown of Isle of New York, which he was also chief of department for two years. So we kind of live and breathe fire in our house. We have two kids. My daughter Brianna is 12, and my son Colin is 10. He is a fire buff, you know, through and through. And you know, it's kind of I always tell people he was my best friend. We were friends for nine years before we started dating. And you know, it was it was a happy home. It was a fun dynamic, we have a had a fun dynamic in our home. But on December 12th, 2022, he fell about uh 20 feet while preparing for a training exercise inside the quarters of rescue too.

Voiceover 5:09

A huge, huge loss for you and your family and and for the FDNY family. How did you personally navigate this kind of uh or how'd you process this loss?

SPEAKER_04 5:21

You know, I could tell you that on December 12, 2022, it snowed outside. Um, I could tell you that I text him saying I should have put the Christmas decorations up to get a picture because you never know if we're gonna get any more snow. Um, I spoke to him, you know, you could kind of remember every every little detail. And the thing I remember the most is when I walked into the hospital, you know, they came to get me when I was at work. And I walk into the hospital and I see a sea of firefighters there waiting. You know, nobody, I didn't want to look them in the eye, they didn't want to look me in the eye because nobody truly had details yet. And that community was there and they are still here. Um, I tell you know, I feel like I couldn't get rid of them even if I tried. You know, between the whole FDMI, two firehouses, plus a volunteer firehouse, we've been remarkably blessed and lucky to have them in our lives.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

I'd like to hear more about how his legacy really inspired you to create this mission. Could you please talk about that with us?

SPEAKER_04 6:24

Yeah, so when Billy fell on December 12th, he would spend about a week in the hospital. Um, he went through multiple procedures, intensive interventions. And unfortunately, after about a week, we weren't seeing the improvement that we thought we would see. And one thing that I remember, and I blurted out to the hospital staff while I was there, I was like, he's an organ donor. And it wasn't even, it was only it was a few days in, and I just something in my heart told me they needed to know, and they're like, Oh, you're crazy. We don't need this right now, we don't need to know that. But I knew it was something he was passionate about and he felt strongly about. So I wanted to make sure they knew, God forbid, we were in that situation. And sadly, we were in that situation. And Billy would go on to save the lives of five others. He donated his heart, his liver, his lungs, and both of his kidneys. And his liver and his lungs went to two retired members of the FDNY, one who had 9-11-related lung disease. From that, it just I this organic process of change kind of happened. I realized everyone felt organ donation was important, but nobody really talked about it. And I was being asked to go speak. I started speaking, I went to the proby classes, and you know, really just trying to get the message out there not only, you know, helps improve the lives of others, but it also keeps Billy's name and like it's seen alive. So it's kind of like my therapy in a way.

Voiceover 7:44

Yeah, I was uh gonna ask, um, and maybe we can circle back to some of that um sort of the coping and the ways that you found some peace um in this journey. Um I wanted to first go to the conversations because you touched on that, that we have to have these conversations, or it would be helpful to have these conversations. Can you kind of get into what are some of the hard conversations we need to have, especially as first responders with our significant others, and especially preferences having to do an organ donation?

SPEAKER_04 8:17

You know, when you're a part of the first responder world, you kind of tuck away in your head and your heart that there are things that may happen. But it's you know, you almost feel like it's more important to just live in the moment and enjoy what life has to offer. Because in reality, nobody really wants to talk about what happens when they die. You know, you want the cupcakes and the roses and the rainbows. But I'm so proud to say that Billy and I did have these conversations. You know, I can remember sitting in, you know, I was standing in the dining room and he's in the living room and he looks at me and he goes, Are you an organ donor? And I was like, you know, I I I would. I don't think it's on my license, though. And he's like, Well, why not? And I changed my license. And he did that to people at the kitchen table. And to me, that's a hard conversation because even though you don't want to talk about what happens when you die, it's just this one small piece that could make your loved ones' lives a little bit easier if they are put into that situation. Because I've had people reach out to me and I shared our story, and I'll tell you that organ donation was the light in the darkest hours of my life. And I tried to explain to them and they're like, Thank you so much, and they go to their loved ones and they're gonna donate a loved one's organ. And then a family member comes in and goes, No, this isn't what we don't know if they wanted this, we're not doing that, and they don't donate the organs because now there's conflict between the family, and the last thing you want is conflict when you're trying to begin a grieving process that's not easy to begin with.

Voiceover 9:46

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SPEAKER_03 10:59

So, do you think that something that people could do to be prepared, even though no one wants to prepare for these things in the first responder world? Do you think it is important, though, to have these conversations about organ donation and end-of-life care so that your grief process is not interfered with or thwarted because of some of that family tension that can arise?

SPEAKER_04 11:23

Yeah, you know, I presented to the firefighters, you know, here in the city. And one of the things I talked to them about recently, it's everything I need to know. You know, there's a saying, I'm everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten. Well, everything I need to know, I learned in proby school. You know, and starting in proby school and having these conversations and explaining the difficulty that could arise. And even if you're not married, you know, and you're young and you're just you're excited and you're on the job and you're just ready to do life, it's still important to think about that because in the long run, it will help you, it'll help your family. It's, you know, again, hard to think about, but you just signed up for a really difficult job as well. It kind of comes with the territory. And I think if we normalize the conversation, it won't be as difficult. And it also comes with, you know, in those relationships of those that your loved ones or new relationships, you're bringing someone new into your life. It's important to let them know about that because they do need to know what they're getting into, and those conversations are a part of it.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

I hope you don't mind me asking this, but I'm wondering if the organ donation process helped your children as well, just to know that their father's life was able to go on and help more people and his organs are living and breathing inside of other people as we speak.

SPEAKER_04 12:43

It's really funny you say that because we just watched uh the new Beetlejuice a couple nights ago. And I don't know, we ended up in a well, we talked about how dad would have loved to watch the movie with us because you know, we have our family movie mates. And my son said to me, He's got away with words for a 10-year-old, a little too wise. And he's like, you know, he goes, Dad's like kind of still living, mom, right? You know, because you know, his heart's still beating, his lungs are still breathing, and you know, his liver still functions, you know, and then his inner and he goes, and people have his kidneys, and it's he's right. And they both have said that they hope he the the people that we know, they hope he hopes they all live to be 100 because that means dad got the little piece of dad did too. And we talk to Billy's long liver and um heart recipient. So it's really exciting to know them. And I'll never forget you know you learn all this information, but one of the profound moments was when I met Billy's heart recipient, because I didn't know until after I met him that in order to get someone's heart, they have to be of a similar stature to you. And it makes sense now that I know that. Right. But you know, all of a sudden I'm waiting to meet this, meet this man, and he comes out and Rich is six foot three, and Billy was six foot four. So it's like these profound moments. And my daughter said she's like, you know, I was listening to the heartbeat. And at first it was a little too slow, and then it started picking up, and then I just knew it was dad. You know, so I think it has absolutely been a huge part of the healing process. And I also think donor families sometimes don't embrace it as much because you're going through your own trauma that you kind of a lot of people tuck away into the shadows to deal with that trauma and that loss and devastation. But these relationships are they're amazing. And we don't talk daily, but we talk once in a while, and we you know have a text thread, and I know how they're doing, and they send me pictures of their travels, and just knowing that and knowing that impact of his Billy's passion in general, you know, could do that. You would never know any of these people had were near death almost two years ago.

Voiceover 14:48

Incredible. Um thank you for sharing that story, Christina. Um I think as first responders, we don't really talk about or focus on you know what a high-risk profession we're in. Uh, we kind of minimize it. We certainly minimize it with our loved ones uh because we don't want them worrying about it or we don't feel like they can handle some of the details of the, you know, the situations we get into. But it's a reality. And so with that in mind, like how should first responder couples prepare uh for a worst-case scenario like the kind of loss that that you've uh experienced? Is there some steps you would recommend?

SPEAKER_04 15:29

I think the most important step is definitely having the conversation. Um, you know, you don't want to have to do it, but like you said, you know, you don't want to worry us, but we know, you know, most of us know what we signed up for. So I think that conversation is important, um, especially if it's someone who wants to be an organ donor, they can not only have it on their license, but they can go online and register because sometimes a significant other could be in a fog in those moments, and everyone handles those situations so different they may not remember the conversation. I would have never remembered the conversation had I not been in the position to have to remember that conversation. And you know, we all have a person, right? And even though we have our significant other, and for many of us, they're our best friend and our closest confidant. But when you're a part of a first responder family, there's always that mutual partner, 24 partner, someone that you work closely with. You kind of maybe want to have a conversation with one of them, you know, because it it will help the more people that understand who you are and what you want out of life, I feel like the easier the whole process would be. But starting with that significant other or a parent, someone closest to you in your immediate family, I feel is is definitely the best way to go about it. And and writing somewhere is is definitely going to help too.

SPEAKER_03 16:44

I think that's a great point you just made because I would probably when I was actively an EMT, I probably would have been much more open with my partner about going into a scene or what could happen to us getting into this right now than I would my family, right? So it makes sense to me what you said about telling your partners about your wishes, because those are the people actually in our lives that we talk the most about death with because we're faced with it so much together and we bond over it. So I think that's such a smart thing that you just said. And if people can't bring themselves to discuss with their spouses or their parents or their siblings, at least if they could let their closest partners know, those people will be right there with their family if something happens.

SPEAKER_04 17:32

Yeah, and trust me, they don't go away. You know, those they're there. They're they come to my kids' birthday of school, they come to sporting events, but they do, they do know. And the stories, you know, when you end up having those connections with the partners and you know, those that you were closest with, it it just it also brings together this way of life that you didn't even see your significant other a part of. And knowing that they know so much and they know, you know, maybe even just as much or sometimes more than you in certain scenarios, it just builds the family dynamic, also, I think.

Voiceover 18:07

Christina, can you speak to some of the stats um as far as who were the numbers of people in the US registered as donors? Um, and maybe you know a little more in terms of state, uh statewide number. Um, is that something you can share with us?

SPEAKER_04 18:22

I could tell you nationally, there's over 103,000 people on the organ donation list. Um, you know, one person can save, you know, eight lives and improve up to semi-fat more with uh tissue donation. And also, you know, only three in a thousand people will die in a way in which they can donate their organs. So yeah, I like I like a good medical drama. Grey's anatomy happens to be my show of choice. And I they lied to me, right? There is no magic Metavac that throws all these organs on dry ice and just sprinkles them across the country. In reality, it's about location. It starts with look, it starts with match and it starts with location. Uh the kidneys can survive two days on dialysis before they have to be transplanted. A heart and lungs, they need to go pretty much from OR to OR, you know, within like an hour time period. So if the more people in our communities that are registered, the more you know, people that you're going to be able to help. You know, otherwise you can lose organs because there's not somebody within that close proximity of you. You know, people even access to transplant centers and things like that. I've been learning a lot about communities, and the more people registered is obviously the best way to go. Even though over 80% of families will say yes if they're put into the position to donate someone's organs. The whole point, if you go back, circle back that hard conversation in the mix of the statistics is you don't want to have to worry about that. You know, you're just you're automatically helping. And to me, first responders are mainly selfless. So doing that is exactly right up their alley. And why I've spent so much time with our first responder community. But as far as the states, I don't have the state statistics off the top of my head, but I can be proud to say that New York State was towards the bottom of the list. We just finally hit 50% of our registered organ donors, and the national average is about 62% nationwide in each state.

SPEAKER_00 20:19

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SPEAKER_03 21:24

You know, I had a question for you. You mentioned there's a checkbox when we get our license. Do we want to be an organ donor or not? Are there any further educational processes that you're aware of anywhere in the country? Because it seems to me that's a missed opportunity. You know, I may know nothing about organ donation, and I'm faced with that question at the DMV. So is there room for change in that simple mechanism to educate? And are you aware of anything that currently does that?

SPEAKER_04 21:55

You know, I there's a lot of um like donate life. Obviously, it's the biggest donate life in America, it's kind of the umbrella, and there's all these other donate lifes throughout the country. Um, depending on where you are in the country, kind of depends on who provides the education for it. So without getting into like crazy detail, but every there's 56 organ procurement organizations throughout the country that are overseen by UNOS and um the federal government, and they are the ones in charge of assigning where organs go, matching them and transporting them and testing, you know, those that are on life support. But how everybody manages it is very different. And I'm learning that it's a system with a lot of work that can be done. And I'm happy to say that you know, I've had developed some really great friendships with people at places like NYU and North Shore University Hospital that are local to us that are starting to pave the way to change that look and change that conversation. Because even in high schools, you know, some some OPOs, some you know, donate lives, they send people into high schools and have conversations and programs before they get their license, but other people don't. And I think it also comes down to resources and allocation of those resources, the allocation of the funds provided. It's definitely something I've thought of, and I think it's something we could work on because there are the other countries in this world that have I think Spain is a 75% registration because they're an opt-out country. So you have to say, No, I don't want to be an organ donor. So there's definitely work to be done, and that education is truly important because you're right. You're 16, you're going to the light, you're going to the DMV. You want to get on the road. Like you're not thinking about anything else except I'm going to pass this test, I'm going to get on the road, and I'm going to go. And there's so much more to know about it.

Voiceover 23:44

Yeah, it was a great question and the great answer. Thanks for that. And Christina, kind of give us a little more insight into the Billy Moon Foundation. Um, what does it do? Who does it partner with? And what's the mission?

SPEAKER_04 23:57

So, really, our mission is to provide the support, advocacy, and awareness for organ donation, which has been me. Um, I've been to six states so far this year, uh, spreading our story. State number seven is in January. I think eight is in February. I'm going to the Ignite conference of the Western Fire Chiefs. So I'm really excited about that. Um, it's we've been spreading our story, letting people know, especially in our first responder community. But we're also providing some financial assistance to two of our local transplant centers for food, travel, and lodging for people, you know, whether it's a donor or a recipient family. I'm learning that people from upstate New York need to come down to New York City because that's the best center for them to get a transplant, but they're not coming down here be and they're getting sicker at home because they can't afford to come down to New York City. And that shouldn't happen. That shouldn't happen to anyone. There's even other parts of the country where people, you know, you have to be able to get to a transplant center in a certain amount of time. Otherwise, you can't get an organ for when they call you. And, you know, hopefully we get to that point where we can help people nationwide. They need if they need to be there, they need to be there. So right now we're partnered with NYU and Northstore University Hospital here on the Long Island, New York City area. And we're hoping that every year we're going to expand, you know, who we're working with. And they let us know if there's a family in need. And, you know, it's it's not a huge financial, you know, support, but it's something to help them. And as time goes on, I hope that financial, you know, that monetary amount grows because this is we don't want anyone to have to be worried about getting their organ. We want them to have the access when they need it, or the donor families that need to be there to say goodbye to their loved ones. They don't need to sleep on a hospital couch, sleep in a hotel bed and then come back in the morning so you can have your head with you and you can understand what's going on with those doctors and the staff there.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

And do you feel like the first responder organizations and associations that you reach out to are looking to hear this message and willing to have you come in and welcome you in?

SPEAKER_04 25:58

Yeah, they've been great. You know, everyone's come up to me, and you know, every time I go somewhere, it ends up leading to somewhere else. And I feel like it's just one, it's a compliment and a path I never thought I would be on in life. But at least I know that it truly is a message that people feel is important. And like I said, everything I need to know, I learned in Proby School. And we talked about, you know, donor days, and you know, everyone's like, yeah, we can really get this to our membership. We really feel like this is important. Even the International Association of Firefighters had several conversations with them and talking about things of what we can do to help you know all everyone understand the the uh the domino effect of what organ donation can do.

SPEAKER_03 26:42

Well, I have to say to you that we focus a lot on the trauma and the grief in our line of work. But what you're really shining a light on for us is post-traumatic growth. And what do you do with your pain? And what do you do so that your loved one doesn't die in vain? And you are such a great example of someone who's taking their pain and their grief and helping the world and enacting what they're going through. And because of that, you're changing so many people's lives. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 27:15

I, you know, I tell people never judge another person sad because just because someone is not grieving in the way that you think they should be grieving, it doesn't mean they're not grieving.

SPEAKER_03 27:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 27:26

I believe and I we kind of we lived a life of celebration. We we believed in the importance of celebrating someone's life. And I feel like these ways are just ways that I keep celebrating him and who he was as a person, as a first responder. You know, uh people come up to me all the time, like, oh, I worked with your husband, or I was a volunteer with your husband. And I have such great things to say that I'm not only talking about the flight of the left behind, but just who he was as a person. And I think it's important. And that judging someone sad and the grief process, it looks so different for everybody that I would never I don't take it for granted at all.

Voiceover 28:04

Well, another conversation we don't have often, generally in in our culture, but also on this show is talking about single parenting. Could you share a little bit about your journey as a single parent and sort of like the highs and the lows and the things you found that have helped you get through it?

SPEAKER_04 28:21

Yeah, you become the good cop, the bad, and the bad cop all in the same breath. Um, you know, it's the stress part of it is there's no longer go ask your father. Like, I don't know, just go ask your father. Uh there, you know, or that time apart. You know, uh my kids are very active. They're athletes, they're they're active in their school communities. And the hardest part is kind of coming up with that routine and what is that structure going to look like. Not that I don't have support, I have family support, we have friends and you know, firefighters and everyone, but it's you still need to learn how to go from being four with you know two adults and two kids to being one adult with two kids. And it you want to be there, but you can only do I can only divide myself in so many places. So one of my missions this year uh is trying to be as present as possible with them, you know, uh making sure I can get to as many sporting events as possible. My son plays roller hockey, but it's like a six-month season with 30 plus games. So we had a really it was a hard conversation for him, but he understood in the long run that if mom has to miss a sport, I'm going to miss a hockey game to go to Brianne's soccer game because you have this many more so uh football uh hockey games left, you know, and I think we're finally getting into a groove with that. Uh, you know, I did not go back to work because I, you know, I'm fortunate enough right now that I can be home with them and I can run to the school if somebody's sick. I can go to the class party and just, you know, be there as much as possible. But it it's it's hard, it's stressful. There are days that I drive in my car and say I need to go grab myself a Starbucks and I have my moment. I can yell in the car and bring myself back together. And then I come home and you know, and sometimes they see me sad because I think that's important too. I want them to know that mom is also sad. It didn't just you know, it happened to all of us. But we all need our moments. So if I need my moment and they happen to be home, I figure out a way to separate myself and I come back. But it it every day is different, you know. I kind of we always take it one day at a time. There's good days, bad days, and crappy days.

SPEAKER_03 30:29

Mm-hmm. Well, and and those are the parts of grief. And I it's another thing people don't really want to talk about unless they're faced with it. Um but David was right, we don't talk enough about single parenthood. It happens a lot actually in the first responder world, not just through death of a spouse, but divorce, separation, um, and all of those other reasons. And it makes life a lot harder for people. So really, we really commend you, Christina, because you are a very strong person and you have those moments, but you're a wonderful example for anyone listening as to how one can cope and try to move through everything with their children. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_04 31:14

You know, but you talk about we talk about hard conversation. You know, it's also because Billy and I had hard conversations and we talked about that kind of stuff. I think also, you know, hard conversations was sitting down and telling my kids, you know, that dad's not coming home, you know, and being there and being a part of that and then turn, you know, looking at them and knowing that this is that moment that we're going to be the three of us. I think it's, you know, like you said, it's it's not talked about enough and you know, you don't see it that way. But when you have the conversations to talk about what it's gonna look like, or even just honesty with my kids, I think was one of the most important things. I always told them the truth. I always told them what was happening. I may have been general about it, because they didn't need you know, certain dirty details they don't need to know. But I would have never been able to keep that many lies straight, you know, or little, you know, white lies or fibs or exaggerations. When it came down to the question that they wanted to ask me, you know, in the long run. And even if it's a divorce family, you know, wanting to know questions, just the honesty with my children, I think, was really important. And it it helped us greatly.

Voiceover 32:26

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SPEAKER_04 34:01

You know, it's uh I I made myself a promise last year that I wasn't gonna sit on the couch every single day. I do sit on the couch some days, but I, you know, getting my nails done, you know, I go every two weeks and the kids are at school and it's just kind of like time for me. You know, it's an hour, but it's an hour that I'm disconnected and I can go do that. I have a really great network of friends who from the beginning tried to get me out of the house. We would go have lunch together or we'd go have dinner together. And I think you know, getting that knowing when you should and shouldn't ask for the help, I think was is become important, you know, knowing that hey, my I'm gonna go out with a few friends and it's not just a babysitter, but maybe the kids can sleep over. So then I come home and I just kind of have a night and then I wake up and do it. And sometimes people don't have that. So I think just finding those moments, whether they're in school or just you know, uh a birthday party or anywhere that you could just kind of separate and be by yourself, even if it's I have a friend who lost her husband a few years ago. She has a babysitter come once, twice a week, uh once every week, every other week. She'll sit in her car and have dinner sometimes. But she's by herself, sitting in her car, just relaxing, listening to music, and you don't realize how helpful that can be. We I live near the beach. So I've driven down to the beach and just had my Starbucks and there in the water for a little while and came back home and you know done what I needed to do. So yeah, uh any little thing, reading a book outside, those moments I think are important.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

I was wondering if um you have drawn on faith in this journey because that's something a lot of people also rely heavily on.

SPEAKER_04 35:42

Um, I will say that we weren't a very religious family beforehand. I think that there's always somebody there, not real looking over us. I I believe Billy is an angel looking over us. And I feel like we kind of re-honour that you know, we honor that in our own way, whether you have to go to the cemetery and visit or just kind of have our own words with whoever we believe in and just say like you know, it's listen, sometimes it's uh screw you, what did you put me in, you know, get me into, and then other times it's thank you. I needed that moment. So I I think everyone has their own connection, and I think defining that connection is important. Thank you for being honest about that.

Voiceover 36:24

Yeah, well, any other uh thoughts or topics or areas we didn't cover that you'd like to speak to, Christina?

SPEAKER_04 36:33

No, I think we really, you know, it's we run the gamut, right? And I feel like I decided I'm running a marathon. I'm not a runner, but I'm you know, I'm learning how to run this marathon. You know, having the foundation has truly been a blessing for me because it getting this word out there and it's keeping Billy's name alive. You know, on top of helping those families, one thing I forgot to say is we're actually even in the process of setting up a family room in a transplant center in Billy's honor. Because again, talking about finding that time, one of the things I felt was needed when Billy was in the hospital was a place to go decompress. I would find these little places to hide, uh, alcoves and places in the hospital to hide. Uh, because you know, for especially the first like 36, 48 hours, I couldn't I felt like I couldn't even, you know, go to the bathroom by myself. There's always somebody there, which is great because they wanted to catch me if I fell. But then there was, I was like, you know what, I need a minute, and I would find these little places to go have a minute. So I feel like a family room is a place to have a minute. And it's also a place that if you have children, they can be there, they can play games, they can relax, they can sit with an animal, you know. They're not always sitting in a hospital room with wires and and monitors and all of this other, you know, equipment and people coming in and out with all this language and verbiage that you may have no idea about. So that was is really exciting for us. And we have a big event coming up in April. We have a gala for anyone in the New York area. And we one of the effects is the new uh the FDNY is the largest contributor to the bone marrow bank in the country. And the reason why I say this is because every Proby class has a donor day. And it's I come and talk about organ donation. I've done four four. I'm up my fifth class is coming up. Four classes so far. They have a blood drive and they swab for bone marrow. And they've been doing this since the early 90s. And it's there's if you go to headquarters, they have a list of all the firefighters who have donated bone marrow over the years. And we realize that organ donation is so important, but also bone marrow and blood safe slides too. So Billy's favorite number was 88. So on 88 and 2025, we're going to be launching donor days with different departments across the country to open up their bay doors, even police departments, you know, community centers, whoever wants to be involved, and have those donor days where we get more registered donors in all of those areas. So that's something else that I think is really important to mention that it's kind of become a part of our journey is to think of other ways in which our message is getting out and other people are getting themselves involved as well.

Voiceover 39:01

Incredible, incredible mission. And for someone who wants to find out more about the foundation and your work, uh, where can they find you on social media or the internet?

SPEAKER_04 39:10

We're on BillymonFoundation.org and we're at Billyman Foundation on Instagram and Facebook.

Voiceover 39:15

Okay, fantastic. Christina, thank you so much for being with us today and sharing your story and your perspective and getting into those hard conversations, which um are so well needed in our profession and and especially with these loved ones who you know are on a ride-along with anybody who's a first responder. So we appreciate you so much for being willing to share that with us.

SPEAKER_03 39:38

Thank you so much for having me. I really all this means a lot. Well thanks for your vulnerability and thanks for helping our listeners, because even if one person rethinks what they're doing at this time after listening, then we've done our mission. But I have a hunch there'll be a lot more I agree. Thank you.

Voiceover 40:00

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